No matter where your family lives, who is in it, or how it was formed, all families have one thing in common: We show up. For doctors’ appointments and holiday recitals — in moments of joy and moments of crisis — family will always be there to protect and support you across time, states, and even generations. 

Lynn and Lisa are a stunning example of what it means to show up — for their family, for their community, and for the world. 

From blazing a trail as LGBTQ+ parents in the 1980s to founding support systems for LGBTQ+ youth and sharing their story to empower future generations, their unwavering and outspoken advocacy has changed the lives of countless families today. This Pride month, we’re thrilled to put a spotlight on their story.  

Like every prospective parent, lawyer Lisa and her partner, social worker Lynn, had a lot to figure out on their path to parenthood — from strollers to bottles to birth plans and everything in between. But as LGBTQ+ parents in Washington state in 1986, they also had to navigate a challenging legal and social climate. Unable to be married, they couldn’t share their health insurance, and so decisions about who would get pregnant and how had to depend on financial considerations. At the time, lesbians were losing legal rights to their biological children and several cases regarding guardianship had them worried about the security of their family and the parent-child relationship after their baby was born. 

As they researched and reached out to community organizations and advocates, they were told time and time again that it was not legal in their home state for a child to have two parents of the same gender. But Lisa, a lawyer, decided to look into the law herself. At eight months pregnant, Lisa found that there were no explicit statutes against LGBTQ+ second parent adoption. 

They saw an opportunity for their own family to create change and, upon the birth of their first child, Evan, they decided to take it, petitioning for adoption for their daughter in Washington state not only to secure parental rights for their own family but to pave a path for every LGBTQ+ family in the state in their position. 

What ensued was a two year court battle that began with a home study and the appointment of a Guardian Ad Litem to represent the best interests of their daughter. The home study went as planned. The report from the Guardian At Litem did not. After asking a series of harsh and inappropriate questions, the attorney appointed to represent Evan determined that not only was it not legal for a child to have two mothers under the eyes of the Washington state law but that it wasn’t in her best interests, either. 

The report was so bad that Lynn and Lisa felt they had no choice but to fight it, bringing their case to trial. After every judge in their county recused themselves and refused to hear the case, they took their case to a neighboring county and lined the table and the witness stand with pictures of Evan. From morning to night, they had friends, child welfare professionals, advocates, and experts speak on the stand. In one powerful moment Lynn was asked point-blank, “Why do you want to adopt Evan?” The answer was simple: “Because she’s my daughter.”  

After an emotionally draining day, the judge told them what they’d spent two years fighting to hear. “I’m going to grant it.” 

After experiencing the joy of becoming a legally recognized family, Lynn and Lisa vowed to make the same outcome possible for everyone. They took to press and media, securing placements in newspapers and magazines, and then turned to the legal community and the LGBTQ+ community, speaking at legal conferences and assisted in producing scholarship so that everyone knew that the precedent in Washington state had changed. 

Their impact stretched beyond the bounds of their state. In fact, the judge’s decision was cited in cases all across the country, and when Lynn and Lisa’s second child — Micha — was born, his second parent adoption took no more than ten minutes. 

Lynn and Lisa’s advocacy doesn’t stop there. In addition to fighting anti-LGBTQ+ bills — including encouraging and empowering their daughter to testify in the state legislature against bills that would prohibit LGBTQ+ parents from adopting and fostering — they worked to provide support and community to the next generation of LGBTQ+ people. 

In 2007, Micha was in high school and started getting hazed for being gay. At the same time, their county was a massive rise in suicides among LGBTQ+ youth, and Lynn — together with other concerned community leaders and mental health professionals — recognized the overwhelming need for support. If her son wasn’t feeling safe as the child of LGBTQ+ parents, what about all the other kids in their neighborhood who were also LGBTQ+ and didn’t have access to LGBTQ+ information, lived at home with unaccepting families, or couldn’t come out to their parents or classmates for fear of negative outcomes? 

What sprouted from these concerns was Pizza Klatch, an after-school support group providing respite to LGBTQ+ youth in need. After experiencing backlash from disapproving parents, the support group moved to lunchtime. In addition to pizza, youth found a safe, confidential place to meet during school hours to gain support and community. 

Today, Pizza Klatch serves pizza and support to 14 high schools and one middle school, reaching nearly 440 students with 28 klatches per week. 

Lynn and Lisa have been together for 45 years and legally married since 2012. In addition to raising their own children, they now have two grandchildren who live just up the street from them, and the decades that they’ve spent advocating for their community continues. 

In recent years, Lynn and Lisa have given talks with Humanities Washington, sharing their story so that future generations of LGBTQ+ people and their allies — including their children and grandchildren — can have a clear understanding of where they’ve come from. They tell their story to provide comfort — to show everyone that, as the civil rights champion Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” 

They also believe that there’s power in preserving their history so that we may learn from our past mistakes and victories. Understanding how they fought for their rights and the rights of LGBTQ+ parents across the U.S. can provide a framework for what’s next in the movement for full lived and legal equality for all marginalized families. 

When asked what they think future generations could learn from their efforts, they say, “Don’t let fear stop you.” 

While both retired now, Lisa Brodoff was formerly  a law professor and the Director of the Clinical Program at Seattle University School of Law teaching elder and disability law. She is presently an Emerita Professor of Law at Seattle University. During her 25 year teaching career, she and her students represented members of the LGBTQ+ community. She was deeply involved in the fight for trans healthcare, marriage equality and partner protections, and advanced healthcare directives and estate planning focused on those communities.

Lynn Grotsky is a retired clinical social worker in private practice who also cofounded and directed two nonprofits: The clinical program at Monarch Children’s Justice and Advocacy Center working with sexually abused children and Pizza Klatch providing weekly lunchtime, support groups in all our high schools and one middle school for LGBTQ+ youth and their allies. Her private practice was focused on all ages, with a focus on children. As an out lesbian, she also became known for her work with lesbian, gay and trans youth as well as support for their families.

In addition to being proud parents, grandparents, and advocates, Lisa sings in a band called the Righteous Mothers, managed by Lynn! They’ve been performing for 44 years. Their song “Find a Man” is about Lynn’s experience coming out to her mother with Lisa, and their song “Lesbian Honeymoon Holiday” is about marriage equality.