Getting Started: Understanding Your Family-Building Options
Everyone deserves to have the family of their dreams.
With the support of Family Equality’s information and resources, we can help you navigate your family planning journey!
As the leading national nonprofit for current and future LGBTQ+ families, Family Equality knows just how overwhelming the decision to start or expand your family can be. The questions seem endless: What path should we take? What costs should we budget for? What laws should we follow? Where do we even begin?!
The good news is that just by being here, you’ve already started! Use the tools and resources on this page to feel empowered to take the next step!
Discuss and prepare for the changes parenthood brings
Whether you plan to be a solo parent or have children with your partner, becoming a parent is a significant change for most people and it is important that you (and your partner) are prepared for that change. Here are some questions to consider with your partner, friends, and family when you are planning to expand your family:
- Are you and your partner on the same page about having children? Are you both committed to the journey to become parents and parenting a child?
- What will change in your lives when you have children and are you prepared for those changes?
- How could having children change your relationship as partners and/or your relationship with your friends and family?
- Do you have friends and/or family who will be supportive of your decision to have children? Will they be willing and able to assist in supporting your journey to parenthood as well as supporting your children?
- What is the impact of having children on your work life? Does your employer support working parents?
You do not have to have all the answers to expand your family, but it is important that you have meaningful discussions with your partner, friends, and family about how children will change your life and be honest about if you are ready for those changes.
Explore the various paths to parenthood
LGBTQ+ people have a myriad of unique ways to welcome children into their families. The two most common paths to parenthood are adoption and pregnancy (typically through surrogacy, assisted reproduction) and/or insemination). It is important to find the path that works for you and your partner. The decision of what path to take is often shaped by personal choice, resources available, cost, and your gut instinct.
Consider the financial implications
Costs for LGBTQ+ people to become parents varies based on the path you choose, where you live, what resources are available to you as well as your anatomy, health, and personal choices.
Explore our resources to estimate the cost of becoming an LGBTQ+ parent:
In addition, some LGBTQ+ people, particularly transgender and nonbinary prospective parents, may utilize fertility preservation options before medically transitioning and there are additional costs associated with sperm and egg freezing as well as storage. This can run between $250-$12,000 plus additional annual fees for safe storage.
LGBTQ+ prospective parents must also consider the additional costs of securing legal parentage for all parents which can run between $100-$3,000.
Family Equality’s research shows that regardless of cost and household income level, LGBTQ+ people are planning and eager to expand their families. Fortunately, there are grant opportunities to help LGBTQ+ folks offset the costs of assisted reproductive technology (ART) and/or adoption.
Estimate the cost of supporting a child to adulthood
For LGBTQ+ folks, the journey to becoming a parent can be very expensive, but when factoring in the cost of parenthood, it is important to remember there are also considerable costs associated with raising a child. The cost of raising a child can vary depending on where you live and the opportunities available for your family in your community. Lending Tree conducts an annual study to estimate the cost of having a child and they estimated in 2026, that cost is $303,418 to raise a child over 18 years. As you plan to expand your family, it’s important that you factor in these costs.
Tap into your community
According to recent data from Family Equality’s LGBTQ Family Building Survey, 63% of LGBTQ+ millennials are considering starting or expanding their family in the years ahead, and up to 3.7 million children under the age of 18 have an LGBTQ+ parent. If you’re looking for other LGBTQ+ folks who are or have been where you are today, explore Family Equality’s virtual support groups or consider these tips for finding and forming your chosen family.
