Adoption is a common path to parenthood for LGBTQ+ people. In fact, according to a 2024 report from the Williams Institute, among parents, same-sex couples adopt and foster at significantly higher rates than different-sex couples. 

There are lots of reasons for this spanning from personal choice, resource availability, and lived experiences. Use this resource to understand the basic process of adopting and what adoption involves, especially for LGBTQ+ parents. 

At its simplest, adoption is the process of creating a permanent legal parent-child relationship. But as you’ll soon learn as a parent: Nothing is quite that simple! Adoption is also a lifelong family experience that may involve grief, loss, identity questions, and changing needs over time. 

As you consider this path to parenthood, be prepared to support your child’s safe relationships with their parents and family of origin. This includes supporting their relationships with their siblings, culture, community, and other important people. Include adopted people in decisions about contact and information in ways that fit their age and development.

The pathway your family takes will depend on many factors. These include if the child is already part of your family and if the adoption is private or connected to the child welfare system. Additionally, consider the laws where you live, cost, timing, and your family’s circumstances.

Private domestic adoption generally involves adopting a child within the United States outside of the foster care system. It may be handled through a licensed private adoption agency or through an independent adoption process involving a qualified adoption attorney and other professionals required by state law. A private domestic adoption may include an application, background checks, a home study, education or preparation, matching with an expectant parent or parent making an adoption plan, consent to adoption, placement, post-placement visits, and court finalization.

In an agency adoption, a licensed private agency may coordinate the home study, preparation and education, matching process, placement, post-placement supervision, and court finalization.

In an independent adoption, prospective adoptive parents generally work with a qualified adoption attorney rather than having one agency coordinate the full process. The services and professionals required vary by state.

Adoption from foster care is a separate pathway for children in the foster care system whose permanency plan is adoption and who are legally eligible to be adopted. Families usually work with a public child welfare agency or a private agency that contracts with the public system. The process commonly includes orientation, an application, criminal and child-abuse or neglect background checks, preservice training, a home study, approval, matching, placement, post-placement supervision, and court finalization. Matching should be based on the child’s individual needs and the family’s ability to meet those needs.

NOTE: Families do not always have to serve as temporary foster parents before adopting from foster care. Some families are approved specifically to adopt children whose permanency goal is already adoption. Public-agency adoption from foster care usually has few or no fees, and some children qualify for adoption assistance, medical coverage, reimbursement of certain expenses, and post-adoption services.

“Foster-to-adopt” describes situations in which a licensed foster family is willing to adopt a child in their care if adoption later becomes the child’s permanency plan.

NOTE: Foster care is not a guaranteed path to adoption. A child may enter a foster home while reunification with their parents remains the primary goal. Foster parents must support that plan while it remains in effect. If reunification cannot safely occur, the child’s plan may change to placement with relatives or kin, guardianship, or adoption. Families considering this pathway should understand reunification, concurrent planning, legal risk, family contact, and post-adoption support before accepting a placement.

Kinship care means that a child lives with relatives or other adults who already have a close, family-like relationship with the child. This may include grandparents, adult siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, godparents, close family friends, tribal kin, chosen family, or other adults connected to the child.

NOTE: Kinship care may be informal or arranged through the child welfare system. It may lead to reunification, guardianship, or adoption, but kinship care is not itself the same as adoption. Kin caregivers should ask about kin-specific licensing options, legal assistance, financial support, and post-permanency services.

Adoption is also an important resource for LGBTQ+ parents who are already raising a child, as it provides the opportunity to secure legal parentage between a parent and a child. 

NOTE: A person’s name on a birth certificate or their marriage to another parent may not provide the same legal certainty as a court order in every situation. As LGBTQ+ people continue to bring children into their families and state laws struggle to keep up, obtaining an adoption or parentage judgment is the most certain way to the state recognizes your parental rights no matter what. 

Intercountry adoption occurs when the child and the adoptive parents are from two different countries. It involves both United States law and the law of the child’s country of origin. Prospective parents must meet country-specific eligibility rules, complete United States immigration requirements, and work with an authorized intercountry adoption service provider . Some countries limit or prohibit adoption by LGBTQ+ people, unmarried people, or same-sex couples. Eligibility requirements and country programs may change. Prospective parents should ask an accredited or approved adoption service provider for current written information about eligibility, travel, immigration, post-adoption reporting, and any concerns related to disclosing their sexual orientation, gender identity, marriage, or family structure.

The process of adopting varies by the path you take, where you live, and more. The first step is to do research on which adoption path feels right for you and your family. Once you decide, it may be time to identify a licensed agency, public agency, or qualified attorney to understand their processes, costs, timelines, policies, and eligibility requirements. 

After finding an agency or attorney, you’ll kick off the application process. This common entails:  

NOTE: Not every step applies to every family. Stepparent, second-parent, and confirmatory adoptions may use different or more streamlined procedures.

Legal protections for LGBTQ+ prospective adoptive parents vary by state. Some states explicitly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Other states have partial or no explicit protections, and some allow certain child welfare agencies to refuse services when doing so conflicts with the agency’s religious beliefs.

Costs vary widely by adoption pathway. Private domestic and intercountry adoption may involve agency, legal, document, travel, medical, or other expenses. Adoption from foster care generally has few or no fees, although families working with a private agency may have expenses that are later reimbursed. 

Ask for a written fee schedule that explains what is included, what is refundable, and what may be charged if a planned placement does not occur. Families adopting from foster care should ask about adoption assistance, medical coverage, reimbursement of one-time expenses, respite, and post-adoption services.

Support should not end at finalization. Families may need adoption-competent counseling, peer support, assistance maintaining family connections, educational advocacy, respite, and help responding to new needs over time.