The reach of intimate partner violence is extensive, affecting the lives of people in every pocket of society, including members of the LGBTQ community. With the majority of the domestic violence awareness and support groups centering heterosexual relationships, many LGBTQ people find themselves with few resources to navigate the healing journey to get out of an abusive relationship. In addition to the lack of LGBTQ-affirming service providers, bigotry, religious intolerance, fear of being outed, and exclusion from family can add additional complications for LGBTQ survivors of violence.
Charise Walker knows this experience all too well. An Oklahoma native, Charise came out to her family in high school, and the reaction from her family forced her to leave home and live out on her own for years. During that time, she became partnered with someone who was physically and verbally abusive. In the midst of this relationship Charise kept finding that police, domestic violence support agencies, and housing facilities were limited in their understanding of how intimate partner violence affects LGBTQ people.
“This isn’t quite domestic violence. Just fight her back,” was a response Charise found herself often confronting.
Charise finally got out of that abusive relationship, and eventually began rebuilding her life with a new partner, Erica. Together they found themselves becoming a support system for other LGBTQ folks in their community who were seeking refuge from abusive relationships in Lawton, Oklahoma. Charise realized that her experience wasn’t just anecdotal, but an unfortunately common experience among LGBTQ survivors. She began dreaming of a support system for survivors in rural Oklahoma, and began to form Helping Women Win, a non-profit that offers affirming support for marginalized survivors of violence.
In Lawton, Charise and Erica have continued to face discrimination. From trying to get fertility treatments to finding housing, they have been literally turned away at the door. The recent passage of Oklahoma Senate Bill 1140 promotes this type of discrimination, with dangerous anti-LGBTQ statues that allow publicly-funded adoption agencies to discriminate against LGBTQ prospective parents, single mothers and interfaith couples, among others.
Despite their experiences of discrimination, Charise and Erica continue to work for change in Oklahoma.
“I stay here to support the next generation of LGBT youth” Charise says.