home to Minnesota to visit with my girlfriend’s dad and
stepmother, who are not comfortable with us being gay and it all
came to an ugly head when we announced we are going to get
married.
Well, I am happy to report that things were “good.” The first
couple days were awkward and we felt awkward and icky about being
there. Then, half way through our second day, I was casually
chatting the stepmom while she was making her Christmas cards and
she offered to design and construct our wedding invitations. She
then went on to say that we could pick colors, etc and she would do
them for us, after all, she did the invitations for her own
children. When she finally stopped talking through her offer, I
paused and said, “Thank you that is a very generous offer. I
know how hard this whole situation has been for you and I
appreciate your offer and efforts.” I then proceeded to burst
into tears. The stress and tension just couldn’t be contained
anymore. She got up and hugged me while I sobbed.
I then went on to explain how hard their reaction has been for us
and how it has put a huge damper on excitement we initially felt
about getting married. She apologized, which I needed to hear and
went on to admit she feels uncomfortable with us. I told her they
could ask us anything about our relationship, being gay, etc. For
the first time, I think she saw our humanity. While I hadn’t
planned to cry, I think it was the best thing that could have
happened for my girlfriend and me on that visit.
From that moment on, things felt different. I don’t yet know if
they really are or if I simply had a good cry and got to say what I
wanted to say and had a cathartic moment for myself. Only time
will tell. For the first time since my girlfriend has come out to
her father, she is hopeful, as am I.
There is hope and that is a wonderful gift.