cross-post this great piece that debunks the myth that LGBTQ
parents (especially gay dads) are richer than their non-LGBTQ
counterparts.
“Love makes a family.” – Gigi
Kaeser
LGBT parents. According to the National Center for Lesbian Rights,
“Studies have shown that on average, same-sex parents with
children earn $10,000 less than married couples with
children.”
At Mombian, the lesbian parenting blog, Dana Rudolph directed me to
new studies from the Williams Institute at UCLA with findings that
show
same-sex parents in three states (Illinois, Michigan and Rhode
Island) have ‘significantly’ lower median incomes than
opposite-sex married people. She also notes that, “Same-sex
parents in those states are also less likely than married parents
to own their homes.”
In Bryan
Ochalla’s analysis at GayWired.com, he asks, “Exactly how
were same-sex couples raising children in these states found to be
at an economical disadvantage compared to their straight
counterparts?” He cites stats from the study on median income and
gay & lesbian parents come up short in all three places.
Why do you think that is? Rudolph gives her thoughts. Time magazine
columnist, Po Bronson has his ideas about the plight of gay and
lesbian parents and I thought it was quite interesting.
On
his website, he writes, “I know when people say ‘gay
family,’ the picture that pops into our heads is two men, in
their mid-thirties, living in San Francisco, proudly toting their
newly adopted baby. But if that is the only image we ever think
about when we discuss gay marriage or same-sex couples raising
children, then I’m afraid we could all be missing the Big
Picture.”
Bronson continues, “Because while there are couples like that out
there, they aren’t representative of gay families in the U.S.
today. The real poster child for a gay family isn’t that baby.
Instead, it’s a kid who probably lives in the Deep South. His mom
and dad got married too young, but everything seemed okay for a
while, until . . . things slowly unraveled. Finally, his mom came
out, and his parents got a divorce. Now, Mom’s got a girlfriend
– and it seems like there isn’t another gay couple in the
county.”
He then points to these numbers: “The estimated number of lesbian
and gay parents who have had children during prior opposite-sex
relationships is between 3 and 5 million.”
And then concludes: “Most of the children with lesbian or gay
parents were conceived in the context of a heterosexual
relationship. Many may have lived with both their heterosexual
parents for at least the first few years of their lives. If the
lesbian or gay parent decides to ‘come out,’ the couple may
divorce, but continue to share child-rearing
responsibilities.”
Based on the number of lesbian couples sitting in the waiting room
of our
fertility specialist, I have to believe that Bronson
conclusions will change with time. We know a lot of lesbians and
gay men with children that came from their same-sex relationship.
But academic studies are interesting and the findings are a bit
like those that use the Bible to make a point. You can make it say
whatever you want it to say. That’s what interpretation is all
about.
So what do you think? Do a mental “study” and tell us your
findings when you examine the lives of your gay and lesbian friends
with children. Are they living as well as their straight friends
and neighbors? If so, then why do the studies state otherwise. If
not, then what’s causing the gap? Please feel free to comment
below.