Starstruck, Sweaty, and Somehow Still Talking About Sperm: An Evening to Remember at Family Equality’s Night OUT
On November 8, 2025, Family Equality hosted Night OUT, an evening of comedy in Los Angeles to raise funds for our important work. In addition to honoring the trailblazing Tig Notaro, Stephanie Allynne, Alec Mapa, and Jamison Hebert, and featuring stand-up sets from Monét X Change, Solomon Georgio, Bryan Safi, Brendan Scannell, Tien Tran, and Mo Welch, the event put a spotlight on LGBTQ+ families like Bethany’s, advocacy strategist and Family Equality board member. True to the evening’s theme, Bethany humorously recounts the evening’s festivities in the blog post below.
Recently, I had the honor of speaking on-stage at Family Equality’s Night OUT in Los Angeles, an event that can only be described as aggressively star-studded. I’m a Midwesterner, which means I’m used to fluorescent lighting and lukewarm coffee. Suddenly, I’m face-to-face with Tig Notaro, Glennon Doyle, and Abby Wambach.
Lesbian royalty. Actual icons. People who have fan art. People who have fans.
And me.
I spoke midway through the program, following Lauren Weedman — yes, Hack’s Lauren Weedman. She came off stage, sat next to me, and whispered, “That didn’t go well. I wish I’d done better.”
Yes, a successful, Emmy-nominated actor was spiraling next to me, while I’m trying to remember my opening line and whether my deodorant is holding up. So, of course I reassured her. Because she truly was great, and because someone had to say something steady before I walked out there and tripped over my words – and possibly my feet.
I’m told I made my usual “sperm is expensive” jokes. People insist there was laughter. But I didn’t hear a single laugh because I was too busy staring directly into Abby Wambach’s eyes, who – I think? Maybe? – laughed.
Glennon gave me the kind of empathetic, encouraging nod usually reserved for TED Talks and children learning to ride a bike. Tig looked entirely unimpressed…which honestly just means she was being consistent with her brand. I respect that level of commitment.
And just when I thought I had already said the most unhinged line of the night, it was time to pass the mic to Jai Rodriguez — yes, one of the original Queer Eye Fab Five.
So what did I do? I leaned into the microphone and said: “And now, here’s someone who knows a lot about expensive sperm…”
I mean—who does that?!
Apparently me. In front of Tig Notaro, Abby Wambach, Glennon Doyle, and a room full of extremely famous LGBTQ+ people who all know how microphones work.
Did I imagine Tig and I would become best friends by the end of the night? Of course. Do I think we may need one or two (or twelve) more shows together before that happens? Possibly.
But here’s the thing: Night OUT wasn’t about me trying to impress celebrities or see if Tig Notaro would adopt me as her new BFF (okay, it kinda was). It was about raising awareness and support for Family Equality. It was about protecting our families, our joy, our legitimacy, our ability to build a life without the constant threat of someone else deciding we deserve less. It was about showing up, even when the room is intimidating and the stakes feel enormous.
And honestly, if staring into Abby Wambach’s soul while telling a sperm joke helps raise money to keep queer families safe, supported, and seen…I will do it every time.
If you laughed at even one of my “sperm is expensive” moments — or politely pretended to — I hope you’ll join me in supporting Family Equality.
Yes, I got flustered in front of lesbian royalty, but the real reason we were all there was to protect our families, our safety, and our right to build a life without someone else debating our legitimacy. Family Equality does that work every day with far more composure and far fewer unsolicited sperm jokes. If you’re able, please make a gift and stand with us.
Every dollar counts — especially the ones given out of empathy for my emotional journey on that stage.
