More Outspoken Voices Episodes
Episode Transcript
Emily McGranachan:
Welcome to Outspoken Voices, a podcast from Family Equality that’s by and for LGBTQ+ families. I am Emily McGranachan, I’m the Director of Corporate and Foundation Relations with Family Equality, and I am the proud adult daughter of lesbian moms.
Dakota Fine:
I’m Dakota, and I’m the Video Producer and Storyteller here at Family Equality. I, too, have lesbian moms, and I’m just so excited to join you in presenting this podcast today.
Emily McGranachan:
I’m really excited to introduce Sunu Chandy, who is a social justice activist, civil rights attorney, and creative writer. She is currently the legal director of the National Women’s Law Center. She also serves on the board of the Transgender Law Center and is active with Split This Rock, a poetry and social justice organization in Washington, D.C. Her collection of poems, My Dear Comrades, is the winner of the 2021 Terry J. Cox Poetry Award.
We got to talk to Sunu about her work, about her art, about her activism and hear a few of her poems. So, we’re going to share the links on the show notes and Regal House will publish her book in 2023. Look out for it!
Emily McGranachan:
Sunu, the first question we asked everybody — who is in your family and how was it formed?
Sunu Chandy:
Well, thank you so much for having me on. My name is Sunu Chandy and in my immediate family, we have our daughter who’s 11 and a half. I have my partner/spouse, Erika, and we also have her grandmother who lives with us, and she just turned 96 in June of this year. So we have a very multi-generational family. When I met Erika, she was responsible for her grandmother because her mom had passed away a year before that. So I met them together. And so as our relationship developed, that’s our family: the four of us in DC. And I have my parents who are immigrants from India, who are in Chicago and my brother.
Emily McGranachan:
So on your website, your bio says—and this is the quote—that you are a “social justice activist through your work as a civil rights attorney and a creative writer.” And I really just loved that conceptualizing of your work and what you do. And I would love your thoughts. Are those—that civil rights attorney work and your creative writer work— are those two different branches of social justice work for you? How do they, or do they blend together?
Sunu Chandy:
Yeah, they definitely have moments of overlap. I have some poems that are really directly about even particular cases after they’re resolved or experiences I’ve gone through as I’ve reviewed boxes and boxes of documents. I have a poem called “Refuse to Sign,” which is all the different things employees write on their records, and there’s definitely some direct overlap, but there’s also civil rights work that involves briefs to the court. And it’s also changed over time. You know, when I worked in the government as a litigator, we were filing briefs as the party in the case, or I was working at a government agency when we were writing regulations. So there, there may not have been as much overlap now at the National Women’s Law Center. We also write Amicus briefs, which are much more sort of the story and the policy of what’s at stake.
Sunu Chandy:
And so there’s room to really be more creative in terms of telling the story of the impact of why an issue is important. And I think poetry does that really well. Sometimes it tells the story in an emotional way that can land sometimes much more than a graph or a chart. And so I definitely see some overlap between these areas of work. You know, I went into law because having immigrant parents, they wanted me to be able to earn a living and to sort of be able to support my family. And I also really, really love civil rights law and public interest law, but poetry has always been this other channel that has also existed that allows me to sort of look at the world in a certain way and see metaphors and to see relationships between things in this other way. So I really enjoyed being able to do both.
Emily McGranachan:
I like that. It sounds like there can be that civil rights sort of lawyering in your poetry and then poetry in lawyering. Through this past year in particular, have you found yourself leaning more to the other way to be expressing your particular activism?
Sunu Chandy:
Well, both have really continued. What’s been great in the last year is I was able to connect with a community of writers who really were supportive in terms of carving out the time and the accountability, but also the encouragement to make time to really spend on poetry and revising poems and creating a manuscript. So in the last year and a half during the pandemic, I did more intentionally take time to connect with the poetry community and to spend time on that work, you know, while working full time as a lawyer and having the family life as well. So it’s just been a drive and through different events, I’ve really gotten wonderful feedback from individuals in the legal space. I mean, I did, I did a session for the ABA on sort of racial justice and someone wrote to me and said, can you please send me that poem?
Sunu Chandy:
And it was one of the poems about affirmative action and she wanted to show it to a partner at her law firm. And she said, “I’m trying to talk to him about diversity and inclusion. And I think this poem will really send the message.” And, and so I sent it to her and she said, “I didn’t know that was your poem!” She thought I had just shared it at the event. So we had a really nice connection over that. And she said, you know, “I had mistakenly taken pride in thinking I should be proud of going it alone.” And it was just, it’s just, she said, you know, “I’m sitting at my laptop crying just because sometimes knowing that you’re not alone and feeling that community, even if you’re going through a hard thing together can really make all the difference.”
Emily McGranachan:
And Dakota and I were incredibly fortunate to get to read some of your manuscript for your forthcoming book of poetry. We’re really excited to also have you share some of those poems so that we can also sort of talk about them, but then just so everyone can enjoy the brilliance of your poetry. So for folks listening, the book of poetry is going to be called My Dear Comrades. And it’s going to be published in 2023 with Regal House Publishing, and we’ll have links at the bottom. So folks can sign up to learn more and get updates as the book is coming out. Your poems are so beautiful, and they’re so personal, and they tell such a story in such a journey. And so the first poem I would love if you, if you would read with us, is your poem “Too Pretty.” If you could also share, you know, when you wrote to that and sort of where you were and what was happening as you wrote that particular poem.
Sunu Chandy:
Sure. This is one of the main poems that comes from, you know, New York city subway life. There are so many stories that happen in that space where people of all different backgrounds, beliefs, classes, you know, are together often smushed together before the pandemic on a daily basis. And so this poem came out of one of those experiences. So, I’ll read it. It’s called “Too Pretty.”
Sunu Chandy:
October on the subway, roses at my side, kids being loud. One skinny girl with a cap and a pretty smile gets up to give me her seat and takes this chance to sit on her friend’s lap. I read the paper and look over at these girls so free and easy. They’re laughing, laughing. I look at the pink, pink roses and how I say I am not a romantic and how this whole roses thing is going to ruin my reputation against romance. I watched the girls. I watched the skinny girl in boys’ clothes and pretty smile flirt with all the other girls. So free and easy. They are laughing, laughing. And the man next to me, he is also watching, watching. And the man next to me, he leans over and says to me, “Hey, miss, Hey, miss. That’s too pretty to be a boy, right?” As if somehow that thought disgusts him. As if he wants some agreement about this discussed. And me, I am just relieved that he knows that I’m a miss and not a pretty boy. So I just shrug. And I say nothing because it is 1997, and I am still afraid and afraid to say, what does she look like? And what does a boy look like? And what does “too pretty” look like? And what is your problem, exactly? And I don’t know whether his disgust is that he thinks girls who look like boys should be beat up or boys who look like girls should be beat up because we know they both are. I only know that I was relieved that he did not know my pink, pink roses were for a girl. And somehow I have the safety of passing. And I think to myself, you all sitting there laughing, laughing, sitting there on your sixth grade girlfriend’s lap. So free and easy laughing, laughing. Be safe. My handsome girls, be safe. My pretty boys.
Emily McGranachan:
I love that one so much. Thank you. You know, what really comes to my mind and what feels so true is even today meeting other LGBTQ+ families—just young, young, LGBTQ+ people, but also young people with LGBTQ families, whose experiences I can most identify with—I see so many who are so out and so open and that…free, that word you use, they’re so free. And I feel so joyful for them and also so jealous and scared. And it’s such a mixture of emotions because it is a freedom that I didn’t get to feel. And I’m happy they can feel it. And I’m also sad that I didn’t get to experience that. How have you changed? Have your gut reactions to seeing that freedom in younger people or just young people in general, changed that fear changed or is it still feel relatively the same to you?
Sunu Chandy:
Yeah, as a nation we’ve gone through so much in the last few years, I think it’s been quite a roller coaster. I do think some of it depends on where you live—your immediate community, who’s around you, whether your school is a supportive space or your house of worship is a supportive space. But I also think the politics and who’s in power really sets the tone for our country, too. Right? We were in a place where at least on the books, our rights are getting sort of better and better. And then we just went through these years where, you know, the head of our nation and our government agencies were all saying, we don’t have these rights. And they do play a role in helping to set our culture and behavior and norms. And so I’m really relieved that now that we have a new administration, some of that is being corrected in short order. But we still need, you know, the rights on the books, like the Equality Act, to really have these kinds of rights across the nation.
Sunu Chandy:
That said, that’s only one piece of it. There’s so much education that has to be done and also exposure. And as you’re saying, most of the time, a lot of times, kids will say something because they don’t know otherwise. Right? My daughter, even in DC, was told by kids in the playground, like “You can’t have two moms!” Or “You need to have a dad!” And things that. You know, many people in our community, or maybe listening to this, have faced and have talked with their kids about, you know, “What are the things you can say in response to that?” And thankfully, my daughter was at a school where she knew she could say something because the principal was on the playground and she pulled her over and said, “Oh, he said this.” And the principal said, “Well, let’s talk about that. Um, you know, you do have two moms and different families have different makeups and that’s fine” and sort of talked it out.
Sunu Chandy:
But if you don’t have someone with authority in that space, it can be very hard. And I imagine for kids, they have to make decisions every day about what to be out about and what struggles to take on. And I think part of what we can do in our families is brainstorm with our kids about, you know: here are the ways you can respond that are all truthful, right? Like “I don’t want to talk about that” or “That’s private” or “I have this information that I want to share” or “Let me educate you.” And it might be different based on the day and that’s fine. But I do think as LGBTQ families, we need to work with our kids, especially younger kids, to help brainstorm how they can address those questions. And, you know, whenever someone is out in their bio or just in, you know, work that is unrelated to LGBTQ stuff, it really is so powerful.
Sunu Chandy:
Now my friend uses this term micro inclusions, right? Like, yes, we have microaggressions all day long, but like think of the micro inclusions. When I called a government agency recently, she said, “Okay, but if you want to take out this money to use for this purpose, you’ll have to get your—” and I just waited for her to say husband, and she didn’t. She said, “You’ll have to get your spouse to sign off on that too. If you’re married.” That’s a micro inclusion, which is so rare, but so important. Or if you go to the doctor’s office or the teacher’s form, we notice if it says parent one or parent two or a guardian or caretaker or mother or father. And every year I emailed the teachers and I say, “You’ve sent this form out. And it says mother and father.” And they say, “Oh dear!” You know, but it just takes time to update and to systematize and to make sure people feel included and their families feel included. So there’s, there’s a lot of work that happens. But I think with all of those changes, more and more people can feel empowered to be themselves and to be truly themselves in our world, with their families, with their gender expression, with their pronouns. And, we’ll keep working.
Emily McGranachan:
I don’t know about you, but I found, especially as the weather has gotten warmer and I’m outside more in my community—which is really actually a pretty queer, celebratory space—I’ll still sometimes have my mask on. And I just I’m beaming at the person who I can see expressing themselves and feeling comfortable in their own expression that day or the couple holding hands. And I’m just beaming at them because I’m like, “Yes, you all look so beautiful today. You know, everyone looks lovely. Your joy is so beautiful.” And I just put the mask on and I’m like, “Oh, that’s right. I’m just looking like I’m crinkling my eyes at you.” And I have to remind myself to just like, I don’t know. I don’t want to just keep walking around, giving everyone a thumbs up like, you know, queer siblings. But in my mind, I’m just like, “Yay!” Because yay for you.
Emily McGranachan:
And also for little me, you know, I think about Little Kid Me who didn’t see my parents holding hands in public until I was 13. And that was because we were in a explicitly queer space and then it was finally safe for them, you know? So when I see these other families and I see other people, I feel so much joy for them. And then for younger folks who are seeing these role models now and can see that joy being modeled, it makes me very happy. And it’s such a good point of creating tools within families so that when you do get any sort of questioning or pushback and what your daughter heard on the playground is like…Oh boy, yes. I heard that on the playground years ago. It’s still going around the playground. You know, like, come on everybody! But, the change can still be happening and also how to answer or respond to the bias or the questioning in a way that can…How do we make sure that our kids joy and pride in their families, doesn’t get also chipped away at, you know? Through moments like that. It is a balancing. And I think finding spaces and celebratory allies, those to me, at least growing up that would sort of refill my pride cup, you know, after having to go back then into the classroom or some other space. So I think it’s always so important to be refilling that cup a little bit.
Dakota Fine:
Because you’re mentioning the micro inclusions and just the importance of language, I just want to call attention to one of the lines in Comrades specifically where you were talking about the nurse who was working with you in the fertility clinic, who did use the word partner, but then messed it up in another way. And I wonder if we could just talk about that a little bit.
Sunu Chandy:
Yes, I will. I’ll never forget that. Right. So it was the many year journey that I went through–sort of the infertility processes. And there were so many little highlights and lowlights in that. And one was when this nurse…I was relieved because she said, “Oh, your partner will be giving you the injection. Let me show you.” And I was like, “Oh wow, she’s using this gender inclusive term.” And then the next line she said, “Yeah, just tell him to do X, Y, Z.” And I had just found it so curious. I said like, “Did she only attend half of the training?” Or did she assume that her South Asian patient, it wouldn’t apply to them? Like it was…I found the whole thing so curious because I was like going down a good road and then, and then she messed it up.
Sunu Chandy:
But no, as we know, these are daily occurrences where we feel included or excluded. I mean, something that happened recently, I was filling out two forms. One was visiting the White House for the Pride celebration with just such a wonderful joy after what we’ve lived through in the last few years. But their paperwork, their form, their security form or their visitation form well, they had male and female drop-downs. And I thought, you know, there’s just room to grow and having worked in the government, I know that could probably take a long time and lots of efforts and lots of approvals. But I’m confident that that work is being done on many fronts. And, you know, the same day I was filling out another form in another space. And I think the good thing is that it surprised me because now seeing, you know, “prefer not to say” or other genders listed there and just having the full reality of our humanity reflected in our paperwork and how we’re referred to in our families is so powerful because this is about our own sense of self and liberation and in creating space for that in our communities—
Emily McGranachan:
The exclusion rings so loud. When you are looking at a list or having to sign parental forms and they didn’t even think your family could even be in that space or they didn’t think your identity could possibly exist. Like that feels so incredibly loud to those who are excluded. And then, when you just add that parent slash guardian, by that tiny change also becomes so exciting and so loud to see. But you, you started to share some of your infertility and fertility journey. And I would love for you to read another one of your poems “Grade Four Peaches,” which so powerfully sort of speaks to some of that, that experience.
Sunu Chandy:
Sure. So this poem is called “Grade Four Peaches.” The board certified specialist doctor gave me these parting words, “Do what your grandmother’s ghost tells you to do.” He told me this, when I insisted on some additional perhaps magic instructions that would make it all work this time. I left the appointment with two fertilized embryos inside of me. The board certified specialist doctors said that I had produced grade four eggs. When I asked what this meant, he said, “Imagine we are talking about peaches and that you’re sorting them into categories. The best ones are rated grade five. Those go to restaurants. Now we never see grade five, but grade four eggs are very, very good. They’re like the grade of peaches that would go out in front on the fruit display stand.” Earlier, the embryologist had also said that these were beautiful embryos. She did not come off as someone who would go around casually handing out compliments. And so I decided to believe her. The board certified specialist doctor trained in giving patients in just my situation only realistic expectations said, as he completed the procedure, “Say goodnight to your babies.” He was smart enough to know that we can somehow train ourselves to hold hope, love, and realistic expectations in our heart. At the same time, he told me to be brave. And he was not talking about the many painful injections in my hip and in my stomach where the many bitter medicines, but to be brave, instead with my heart. I took another deep breath and wished for the good cells to multiply and to grow like grade four peaches. I decided to follow the board certified specialist doctor’s instructions, this lovely humane doctor who talked about working in this garden and who had his daughter playing the piano as his cellphone’s ringtone. This doctor who invited my partner into the room on his own initiative for the medical procedures. So based on his warm personality and his medical credentials, I decided to follow his last bit of medical advice. To do what my grandmother’s ghost tells me to do. My grandmother’s ghost is my father’s mother. She has been a ghost for 17 years. For the second half of my life. The clearest memory I have of her is that she cried and cried with happiness. Whenever we would arrive to visit her in a place called Vango outside of the village of [inaudible] in Kerala India. This scene took place once every four years during my childhood, I was terrified by the depth of her love, by how long she would cling to my father upon his arrival. My parents did not give her the precise dates of our trips so that in case there were delays, she would not worry. So she was given some hint that we might come during a particular month. And then we would just arrive. Grandmother waited and waited for my father’s visits and cried with joy when he came home. And cried with sadness when he left and again began her long wait. My grandmother’s ghost teaches me patience. She tells me to love, even though these beings may not come to me for a long time. And even though I have no idea if or when they will ever come to me for good, she tells me to love them. Even if they’re just an idea, even if I just have to imagine them, she tells me to love them. If they take the form of an adopted child five years from now, she tells me to love them. The idea of them. And to love the efforts that went into their creation. From my grandmother’s ghost, I learned that sometimes you have to wait a long time for beings you love. And sometimes you are very sad while you’re waiting. I learned from her that tears can be complicated and can mean a lot of things all at once. Like, “I’m so glad that you’re finally here.” And then, “I’m mad at you for taking so long.” I learned from my grandmother’s ghost that love is to be expressed. That hugs can be long and that you should allow your children to pursue their dreams. Even in distant lands. I learned from her that you may not know how, or when your children will come to you.
Emily McGranachan:
Your poetry is so insightful and so beautiful. And you’re describing so beautifully the hope and the bravery and the sadness that can come as you’re going through a family building journey in whatever form that is taking at the time. Were there spaces and other peers that you were connecting with—those sort of comrades that you reference in the book’s title, but also in some other poetry? How did you find that support to be going through all of those ups and downs?
Sunu Chandy:
Yes. Um, I was so fortunate to be living in Brooklyn during all of those years, and I definitely should give a shout out to the LGBTQ center in Manhattan, um, and Terry Bogus who ran so many programs for wanna-be moms, wanna-be parents, trying to connect folks who wanted to create families together, groups that had support for those who are going through the adoption or foster care process. You know, being New York City, they have so many resources. And that was so helpful. There were also groups like Single Mothers by Choice, um, because, you know, I was between different relationships and absolutely planning to do this on my own. I felt very strongly about starting a family and I love kids and really wanted to make that a reality in my life one way or the other.
Sunu Chandy:
And so all of these different communities online and in person were so crucial to that experience. And, you know, as I started down the road of adoption, sort of knowing other families that have gone through that—because that can also be an incredible emotionally waiting process that can have many stops and starts as we know it can—and it’s really hard to tell how long the process will take. And once you’ve decided that you want to create a family, it can be really hard to not have that work out in a number of ways on a number of front. And to sort of, you know, always, of course, honor the wishes of the birth parents, if it’s an adoption situation. And so there may be a few rounds of that, that prospective families go through. And so it is definitely a journey and also the rules change, or, I mean, it’s sort of practically hard.
Sunu Chandy:
Like what forms do you need? What steps do you need to go through? What agencies do you need to work with? Um, so there’s a lot of practical steps that can really be difficult to figure out on your own. And there’s also the emotional journey, which absolutely having others go through that and be there for each other is so crucial. And yeah, the title of the book is My Dear Comrades. And that was taken from this really funny landlord we had, um, in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. Really sweet guy. And he would email us about literally like the broken backlight on the porch, or just like, you know, fixing something in the apartment. And every email he would say like, “Hey comrades!” And it just was this really interesting word that he used, and he was a lovely guy. And then when I thought about, you know…I think about comrades these days, I think about the other women at the infertility clinic. And so that’s the title of that poem. And then it sort of zoomed out and thought about, so many of these poems are about, um, going through experiences and finding community as part of that. And I hope that this book provides that for other people as well. And that’s really what motivated me to pursue, “I’m thinking about getting it published.”
Emily McGranachan:
Those are all such important truths about the variety of journeys to parenthood and how so many can be so fraught. And the, I loved “Grade Four Peaches” with this idea from your grandmother’s ghost—of patience—of love can still exist even as you’re waiting. That sort of waiting can be also that act of love and loving. And so one topic that I see frequently coming up in spaces and LGBTQ+ spaces and family building spaces that Family Equality is creating as an organization is that sort of, “When do I know it’s time to start looking at other options to start changing plans.” And that’s everything from working with a different adoption agency to, you know, we have these frozen embryos or some additional donors from, but we’ve decided we actually are not going to have additional kids. There’s so many choices that go in for everybody at every step along the way, but some can be really, really difficult to make. For you, are there tools or spaces? Like what helped you feel that a different like that, that the different step or, um, that different path was right for you to, to go for or look to?
Sunu Chandy:
Yeah, I mean, it’s such a big topic and I really started in my, in probably my mid twenties, my late twenties to really think about this. And it was at one of the Pride events where somebody was tabling about how the range of ways that people can begin their families. And I think that really inspired me, just sort of pushed me off to start that journey. And so I’m just thinking, as you asked that question, there were so many chance moments that, you know, actually inspired me. And ultimately when I, when I started the adoption journey, it was because I had this other family and they had gone through the adoption journey. And so I felt inspired. I felt like if they can do it, I can too. And I really have them as a resource to talk me through some of the steps.
Sunu Chandy:
And I think there’s so much important information sharing about, you know, the social worker who does the home study and just all these steps that can feel really overwhelming. And if you think about just the paperwork, right, in terms of the bank statements and the doctor’s statements, and there’s so much that you need to pull together to say that “I am going to be a good and worthy parent.” If you ended up going down certain routes. So, I do think I made those decisions in community and in talking to others, who’ve gone down those steps. And I also think for a lot of it you don’t know until you are there. And I know for sure that was the case with the infertility journey, because, you know, I ended up changing my insurance because there was one that would cover a certain number of tries and one that wouldn’t.
Sunu Chandy:
And so I sort of had to wait and change my insurance and then try then I thought, “Okay, if they cover X times, that’s what I’ll do.” But I wasn’t ready to finish because I had had enough success and I had two miscarriages, which people said, “Well, that’s good. That means you could get pregnant.” So you don’t know until you’re in that moment, how much more you have in you. And it’s such a personal decision. And I really think there’s no right or wrong there. And so I always thought I would adopt a child and maybe have a child. And then after I went through all that and went through the adoption process, that’s what made sense for me. You know, it made sense for us to have one child. And so you sort of have to take it as it comes. And then if you’re with a partner, then sometimes there’s a discussion between the partners about what makes sense for the family.
Sunu Chandy:
And also we have my partner’s grandmother with us. So in some ways we are care-taking for two individuals in our home. And so, you know, it is the family of four that I expected in a different formation. So I think if people are like me, they want to know the whole plan in the beginning and they sort of map it out and I think this is what’s going to happen. And sometimes it does, right. I have friends who, you know, they both wanted to give birth. They did, and they have two kids now, and that that’s worked out that way. But for many, many families, it’s a journey at each step. You evaluate: What makes sense for us? Can financial considerations play a role? What career opportunities there are play a role. There are so many pieces, especially, you know, after this sort of pandemic and COVID and all those women who’ve had to leave the workforce because of childcare and all the job loss. There’s so many factors that play into this, but I think through it all, having community and having support is so crucial.
Emily McGranachan:
Absolutely sign up to get more information about the book! We had more poems we wanted to read together! One is titled “Symmetry” where the connections between the biases that are existing and barriers that folks are facing in employment, and those sort of expectations are even how they are creeping into education system, but also how they are so pervasive in pandemic parenting and making it through that process.
Sunu Chandy:
Okay. Now I think, I mean, this, this poem, I think really pulls together some of the tensions in terms of access in our society and both in workplace discrimination, which is, you know…I was at EOC for 15 years. So this idea of who gets hired and what’s that based on is something I really care about professionally. And also just this idea of the attacks on affirmative action and what access looks like and how those work together. So I think this is a piece that bridges some of that. It’s called “Symmetry.” As my daughter took her Day 2 fifth grade, beginning of the year, standardized assessments on the other side of this wall, I listened to my former boss’s boss’s boss, Eric drive band tell the First Circuit Appellate Court that the US Federal Government no longer believes in affirmative action.
Sunu Chandy:
And so he says, “If colleges look at the whole candidate, including race, they are engaging in illegal race-based discrimination.” I reread my poem on affirmative action and wonder if that’s one I should share at an upcoming legal conference. That poem was inspired by this line from a job advertisement. “The candidate should hail from a well-regarded law school.” As for the fifth grade parents, we were given careful instructions to encourage that, not to help our children with their standardized tests. The school provided a handout, entitled, “Supportive phrases to use with students” in the two page document. It included versions of “Do not help your student” four different times. It then gave sample language to use instead of helping your student for math. They suggested we say, “Try and work it out on paper.” For reading, they suggested we say, “Try going back to the text.” They suggested we say, “It’s okay if you don’t know the answer they suggested.” We say, “Make a guess and move on to the next one.” After the student completes the assessment, they suggested we say, “I’m really proud of you. You did a great job taking your time, showing your work persisting through challenging questions.” On the other side of the wall, I remind my daughter to take breaks, to drink water, to eat her green grapes. And after two days of tests with so many unknowable answers, the only question she had for me was, “What’s symmetry?”
Emily McGranachan:
Thank you. Well, I kind of want to just end it on that really thought-provoking and thoughtful note. Um, so Sunu, how can people find you and how can they find your work?
Sunu Chandy:
Well, thank you so much for asking. Folks can follow me on Twitter. I also have a website just under my name Sunu Chandy and on my website, there’s a place to sign up, also, if you want updates about the book. The book is called “My Dear Comrades,” and it will be out by Regal House Press in 2023. Um, in terms of the poem “Too Pretty,” I also want to give a shout out to “Split this Rock.” Split This Rock has an online website, The Quarry, and they actually published this poem online. So you are able to find this online and they are a wonderful social justice poetry organization. So thank you so much for your interest and for creating so many important spaces for LGBTQ families.
Emily McGranachan:
Thank you all so much for listening. To keep this conversation going at home or with your own family and friends, we have some topics to share with your loved ones. So, the first “Keep this Conversation Going” question for you and your family to consider are: What are some ways that you can be an activist through art or through changing policies in your town or school? And, have you had an intense experience or big emotion recently? Maybe, try expressing it through movement, writing a song, reading poetry, or maybe even a family primal yell in the woods! What can you do to express a big emotion or big experience in your life?
So, just again thank you so much for listening! You can connect with Family Equality at www.familyequality.org and find us on social media, we are @FamilyEquality on Facebook and Instagram and we are @Family_Equality on Twitter!