When Man Plans, the Universe Laughs: A Gay Dad’s Tale

There were many things in life I thought I would be.
As a young child, the world seemed so BIG and possible.
There never appeared to be a limitation on what I could be, what I could do.

I don’t really know when the dreams began to drift away.
When did they go from filling my spirit with such intensity and joy to becoming distant memories that somehow started to feel so silly, so un-real?

When does the sense of endless possibility turn to the feeling that certain keys to certain doors are simply out of reach?

Ah…I wish I had that answer but I don’t, as they say, “when man plans…”

At this moment while I write these words I am far better served by pondering over the things in life I thought I would never be.

I never thought I would be an openly Gay Man.
I was born into an extremely conservative Roman Catholic Family. Coming out was one of the most terrifying events of my life. I am so happy and grateful that for some, not for all, coming out in today’s world can be a bit softer and more supporting. Again I say not for all as there is still so much work that needs to be done to assure that all of our young LGBTQ brothers, sisters, and everyone outside and in between find peace in their truths. Walking past my fears is still one of the most courageous things I have done and also one of the most important and truth affirming events in my life.

I never thought I would be an openly Married Gay Man.
I met my Husband in 2005, and we took our vows of marriage in October of 2009 in Boston surrounded by 30 of the most important people in our lives. We felt the warmth of Grandparents and Mothers and Uncles and Brothers and Best of Friends. We were pioneers, walking hand in hand into uncharted territories. Choosing marriage was not exactly common at that time and even the Reverend that joined us stated that just because a law changes, hearts do not always follow. If the world had stopped spinning as I said “I do,” I could not have imagined feeling any more complete and joyful as I did at that very moment. I was wrong: there was joy beyond belief to come.

I never thought I would be an Openly Married Gay Father.
My Husband and I created a world in which all things felt possible. Marriage naturally re-arranges your life; certain friends evaporate into the distance and new friends and opportunities find ways to replace them. We lived in a very red state that not only did not recognize our marriage but would certainly not want us to be parents. Fatherhood beckoned to us with an intensity that could not be denied. Like anything that we hold as true and real and unquestionable, the universe moves heavens and mountains to bring those things forth. We met a girl…She was pregnant…It was to be a boy….we hired an attorney…we prayed.
In October of 2011 our Son was born and my Husband and I became the first Same Sex Couple to JOINTLY adopt a child in Broward County, Florida. The Judge congratulated us on our courage and let us know that what we had accomplished that day not only made the three of us a family, but it also paved the way for others like us to make their dreams come true. 
I never thought I would do that.

I never thought I would be an Openly Married Gay Dad, Activist for LGBTQ Rights and for Family Equality.
Shortly after my Son’s birth I founded DADsquared. It began as a simple Facebook page to find other dads like us and quickly grew into one of the largest online communities for Gay Fathers and Fathers to-be. We offer resources, advice and friendship for all souls on the journey to Fatherhood. The Website was recently launched, and we have already helped many men and women hold their sons and daughters in their arms for the first time. We have also introduced families that have connected and created relationships that not only nurture the parents but also show the children that they are not alone, that there are other families just like theirs.
I never thought I would do that.

DADsquared, Myself, my Husband and Son now find ourselves uniting with Family Equality Council.

We know that the work we hope to do in continuing to not only help CREATE more families but also PROTECT them can only be better served by this wonderful relationship. We are very excited about the work these two organizations can do together and by the ripples that we can create on the landscape of LGBTQ Family Equality.

As we continue to grow our community, It is my sincere belief that: 
bysharing our stories,
by sharing our experiences,
by extending our hands and welcoming everyone into the fold, we will be forever changing the world we live in—the very same world our children and their children to come will happily, safely and equally call home.

The DADsquared motto is that are “Changing the World One Family at a Time,” and with Family Equality Council in our corner, there is no doubt that we are.
I never thought I would do that.

DADsquared is hosting Family Equality Council’s first ever North Carolina based International Family Equality Event on Sunday May 4th. To join them and learn more about the event, click here!