“Step-Parent” Issues

Brought to you in partnership with the American Military Partner Association: Connecting, supporting, honoring, and serving the partners and spouses of America’s LGBT servicemembers and veterans – our nation’s “silent heroes.”

My name is Adaire Salome, and I live with my 7 year old daughter in San Luis Obispo, California. My Partner of 3 years, who serves in the US Navy, is CPO Kim Keating. Currently, she is stationed for a year in S. Korea. While DOMA is in effect, we are not able to be Command Sponsored, nor are we recognized as a legitimate family. We are engaged to be married next July, although our marriage will not be validated under state law or federal law as a “legitimate marriage” with all the 1200 rights and benefits afforded a heterosexual couple. We are also not able to share in Basic Housing Allowance, Health Care, or Family Support Services, including “Readiness Support” that would have prepared me for all 3 of her deployments. Due to my own custody situation with my daughter and her father, it may be 9 more years(the remainder of Kim’s career in the Navy) before we will truly be able to live as real families live: under one roof.