The Absurdity of It

The military has the “DADT” (don’t ask, don’t tell) policy and
state and federal governments have DOMA amendments and laws (DOMA
for the federal government, signed, as DADT, by President Clinton).
Anyway, these have lead to some sad and frustrating inequalities
for military
die in battle
and same-sex couples trying to live their

But isn’t it getting just a bit absurd (well, as if inequality is
ever not absurd) when the Pentagon feels it necessary to not allow the
same-sex partner
of a House Representative Tammy
on a flight because well.. she’s of the same gender,
and “the Pentagon appears to be self-conscious about transporting
gay domestic partners at a time when it continues to enforce a
“don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in its own ranks.” An
intersection of both DADT and DOMA inequalities to create an

Under House guidelines, members of Congress may take
their spouses with them on military flights if there is room for
them and when it is “necessary for protocol purposes.” Although
Baldwin, the only openly gay woman elected to Congress, exchanged
wedding vows with Lauren Azar in 1998, her home state of Wisconsin
does not officially recognize same-sex marriages, and military
officials were apparently unwilling to consider Azar a “spouse”
within the meaning of the House guidelines.

It took Nancy Pelosi’s intervention to allow it. When even our
national legislators are subjected to the humility of inequality,
can anyone really doubt that the rest of us are subjected to such
inequality on a regular basis? It’s time to repeal both DADT and DOMA

I know that my family is subjected to this kind of humiliation and
frustration pretty regularly. This years tax season is no
exception, as we have to fill out two tax forms, one ‘dummy’ one
filing jointly for the state taxes and one real one for Bush’s
government, at an additional cost of a few hundred. But it doesn’t
end there. We have so many more stories, big and little.

So, let me tell you the short version of one (longer

The first was in 2002. We were living in Germany but had come home
to California. I was at home and suddenly had a major headache,
pains in my side and they took me to the hospital. I had blood
pressure of 220/200 and the doctor admitted me immediately to

My mother called my partner. He called the hospital. The would not
tell him what was wrong with me nor let him speak to me. This went
on through several people and for two hours.

Finally, he told the story to a orderly, who happened to be gay,
when he was carrying the phone from one person to another… he
snuck the phone into my room and let me talk to my partner.

This even though we had a DP in California and all the necessary
documents for health decisions.

Isn’t it time to repeal both DADT and DOMA?