I dated a marine for 5 years and when he came back from Iraq in
2006 he was night-and-day different. He was a newly identified
hardcore Republican, a fundamentalist, and was intensely
homophobic—needless to say these are all things that weren’t in
the boy I fell in love with. During his complete transformation of
self, my mother came out and my parents got divorced. One of the
many reasons we broke up was because he couldn’t accept who my
mother was. (This settled real well with me. And by well, I mean
ridiculously terrible). I felt like my heart had been ripped out
and it unfortunately made me lose faith in all of the armed
services—marines in particular. I was furious, confused, and
wholeheartedly disappointed. Why did war make such a sweet boy
homophobic? Why did war take away his acceptance, tolerance, and
compassion? Would he have stayed a more loving person had he not
served? Is war a legit reason to become discriminatory against
others? Are all service members closed-minded? I really began to
think so…….
2006 he was night-and-day different. He was a newly identified
hardcore Republican, a fundamentalist, and was intensely
homophobic—needless to say these are all things that weren’t in
the boy I fell in love with. During his complete transformation of
self, my mother came out and my parents got divorced. One of the
many reasons we broke up was because he couldn’t accept who my
mother was. (This settled real well with me. And by well, I mean
ridiculously terrible). I felt like my heart had been ripped out
and it unfortunately made me lose faith in all of the armed
services—marines in particular. I was furious, confused, and
wholeheartedly disappointed. Why did war make such a sweet boy
homophobic? Why did war take away his acceptance, tolerance, and
compassion? Would he have stayed a more loving person had he not
served? Is war a legit reason to become discriminatory against
others? Are all service members closed-minded? I really began to
think so…….
AND THEN!
While attending the Creating Change Conference in Detroit this past
week, I met a gay marine who has two moms. He had been to Iraq
multiple times, was still in the service, and couldn’t have had a
bigger heart. He was passionate about who he was and adorably proud
of his mothers. This may sound simple, but my frame of mind was
altered in a way I never saw it altering. I left the conference not
only with an incredible amount of new knowledge, but also with an
incredible amount of hope. My advice to you, if you ever encounter
an individual that seems to be oozing homophobia out of every
orifice and you simply want to give up on changing hearts and
minds—hold out just a little bit longer. You might just be
surprised…..