Measuring Up

Since this is my first post on the revamped FEC Blog, I want to
start by saying how happy I am to be a part of this
community.  Thanks to David Jacques, the eCommunications
Coorinator, for the invitation and I’ll try to make a positive
contribution to this blog. 

I had an experience a few years ago while
seeking a new job that readers here can probably relate to.  I
went to one of these executive placement agencies, fancying myself
in that type of position, and discussed wanting to be in better
position to take care of my family. 

The interviewer said, “Family?”  I said
“Yes, my wife and mother-in-law.”  I’ll never forget the
total disdain I saw in his expression as he just looked at me for a
moment, then moved along with pitching what he could do for me.  I
didn’t need someone to validate me or my family, but I sure
wasn’t going to work with anyone who viewed me as somewhat
beneath his standards of success, I suppose because we didn’t
have kids.  I just didn’t measure up to whatever this man was
looking for, so as Jesus told His disciples when they weren’t
well received in a town, I shook the dust off my sandals and moved
to the next stop on my journey.

This was nothing compared to what many GLBT
families have to face on a regular basis.  I merely had to sit
across the desk from someone who looked down at me.  GLBT families
have to deal with that kind of attitude from our society as a

Millions of dollars are spent every year to make
sure same-sex couples can’t legally marry in most parts of the
United States.  There are plenty of states that are also trying to
take away their rights to legally adopt children, absurdly
believing that leaving kids without a family at all is better than
their having two parents of the same gender.

There are far too many people who believe that
families with same-sex couples just don’t measure up to the
“traditional family.”  I don’t know about you, but anymore I
instinctively cringe whenever I hear that phrase.  I grew up in a
traditional family that made up for the lack of love and intimacy
with dysfunction even beyond what is usually seen on a soap
opera.  Oh, please let’s preserve THAT institution.

When I think of the sporadic and limited
affection my parents showed to each other and compare that to the
level of commitment and passion I see from several same-sex couples
I’ve been blessed to know at my church, only ignorance and/or
bigotry could keep someone from not validating them beyond my and
many other “traditional families.”

Remember, most same-sex couples have nothing to
gain legally by staying together.  Their committed relationships
are pure—because they love each other and want to be

That not only measures up to the “traditional
family,” in many cases it’s even better.  If our society
continues to restrict legal recognition to “traditional
families,” then we aren’t protecting the family structure, we
are limiting it and preventing the concept of family from growing
into the fullness of what it can be.

True families are not defined by blood lines or
legal documents.  True families are bonded by love.

The sooner our society accepts that, the sooner
we will understand that we can do BETTER than the traditional